The never-ending bus to Pakse

I ended up on a bus trip that never ended when travelling between Vientiane and Pakse in the south. There is one VIP express bus in the evening that takes about 9 hours, and that is the only bus that guesthouses sell tickets for. There are a number of normal VIP buses that are supposed to exist, according to the guidebook I consulted, as well as the sign at the bus station. So I set the alarm and woke up at 6am to catch a 7:15am VIP bus... only to find when I arrived at the bus station that the VIP bus was 'broken' and there were only local buses going today… I had heard from a girl in Vang Vien who took a local bus from Pakse to Vientiane to save money that it took 18 hours, so I wanted to make sure that this wouldn’t be the case with this bus… I checked with the bus driver who spoke great English, who said that the bus would take about 12 hours. The bus left at 6:30 so I said, so it arrives at 6:30pm tonight? He looked thoughtful, as if he was wondering how to answer (which should have made me think twice) 'No', he replied, 'about 8pm.'

Well, that was longer than I hoped for, but still okay, I figured, so purchased my seat and got on the bus.

The first thing that happened was that the bus left the station at 6:49am, already running twenty minutes late, only to turn into the first street and stop there until exactly 7:39am. I’m not sure why we waited, but during that time the driver had a cigarette and many local food sellers came through the bus to try and sell us breakfast.

Once we finally got on our way, the bus then stopped hundreds of times to pick up and let off people who were waiting on the side of the road who flagged the bus down. We generally only stopped for a few minutes each time, though, but it adds up. The bus, which probably should have seated 44 people, ended up with about 80 people on it, with people sitting on each others laps, stools down the aisle, and even a couple of men hanging out the door. All this would have been fine except for the vomiting… Laos people have to be the worst travellers that I have encountered… Picture this: a lady sitting with her child on her lap, sharing the same vomit bag as they take it in turns to throw up as the bus winds through the mountainous areas! The vomit lady and child were two seats away from me, but I really pity the Dutch girl that was sitting next to her! I had to put my mp3 on to drown out the sound of the retching, which somehow managed to overshadow even the droning sounds of Thai pop, which was pumping through the bus.

We stopped at a town which was at about the half way mark to Pakse, for a 30 minute lunch break. The ride so far had only taken about 5 and a half hours so I was extremely optimistic about the rest of the trip. The vomit lady and child ate a big meal (I wished I could speak enough Lao to tell her that that wasn’t a good idea…) And sure enough, as soon as we all got back on the bus, the vomit started again. I felt so bad for them… I also felt so bad for the Dutch girl, but at the same time was SO glad it wasn’t me sitting in that seat!

After another two hours, the bus pulled up at the town of Savannakhet… And stopped. After a toilet visit, the bus driver issues us with another ticket and says that we were to take our stuff off the first bus and put our bags onto a second bus. Then the next thing we know, our English speaking bus driver has left with our first bus, and we are on our own in the middle of nowhere! Our new bus has a big sign on the front window with VIP bus written on it, though, so I’m hopeful for an even quicker than expected arrival. The time is 2:55pm, and so I ask the local Lao man what time the bus goes. He tells me ‘ha mon’ – ha meaning five, and ‘mon’ – well that sounds like ‘minutes' I thought. Five minutes, I announce to the other tourists. Fantastic, they say. Well, five minutes came and went, and there was no movement. Ten minutes. No movement. 15 no movement. In fact, we were all kicked off the bus and the officials locked it.

'This doesn’t look good,' the dutch girl said, 'Maybe it’s five hours?'

What???? I thought. So I asked at the ticket office where the lady spoke a little English and sure enough, the bus was scheduled to depart at 5:30 and arrive in Pakse at about 11pm! So there we were, stranded, for 2 and a half hours with nothing we could do about it. I decided then and there that it was important to learn the words for hour and minute.

So while waiting at the bus station I found a little stall and had some dried beef and chatted with the locals. I learnt a few new words and tried to put together some Lao sentences. This was exciting for me, as previously I'd only learnt words and hadn't really tried to make my own sentences. My first efforts went something like this.

I am waiting for the bus.

The bus goes at 5:30.

I don’t like waiting.

In the end, we pulled into Pakse bus station sometime around 11pm at night, nearly 17 hours after we left Vientiane that morning. It was actually a fantastic day for me, though, because through it I became so much more inspired to learn Lao. Other places I had been had so many tourists that almost everyone everywhere spoke English so I hadn't pushed myself out of my comfort zone. As a linguist, and someone that is passionate about languages, I really should have made an effort earlier. But the never-ending bus ride and being stuck in the middle of nowhere with no English speakers was the inspiration for me to try. And so I made a vow that for the rest of my time in Laos I would make an effort to speak to local people in their language, which ended up being the thing that made my Lao trip so special.