Monday, 29 October 2007

Tracy falls in love with South America! Well, okay, South American men!!!

The people are so friendly and warm, I feel so embraced by their welcome… I have been kissed more times here in South America by strangers than I have anywhere else in the rest of my life! At least a couple of times a day I am approached by a local person who wants to know where I am from (so much for thinking initially that I could blend in!) and they inevitably end up telling me I am beautiful, lovely, pretty, kind… or some other lovely compliment. ‘Such a beautiful girl on her own? No! Impossible! Let me be your boyfriend!’ Or from older men ‘I have a son who is single – he would love you!’ And sure enough, before I know it I am accepting a kiss on the cheek (or elsewhere!) in greeting or farewell from someone I have never met before!

I can’t help but wonder if it is something I am doing that is attracting such attention (because I certainly don’t get it at home) or if this is just the way people are here. Am I smiling at people in some way that is inviting these advances, or are all solo females here receiving such attention? Whatever it is, I can tell you that it feels fantastic! To be complimented, and feel appreciated, and welcomed... I think I am falling a little bit under the spell of the Latin American man (in general, I mean, not one particular man just yet!) They still have the sense of ‘gentleman’ that we seem to have lost in the West over the last decades, maybe since before I was born. I don’t remember that men ever stopped to open doors for me in Australia, or that they offered their seat if I was standing on a train, or that they let me go first onto a bus… Maybe I would object if it did happen, as a woman who believes in a world of equal opportunities for both sexes… But I have to tell you that I find it utterly charming here, and I am totally smitten by this aspect of the Latin culture…

I feel a sense of kinship and family with almost everyone I meet... Logically I understand that it is probably related to the fact that I am treated in a way that is like I would be treated by family back home in Australia, but it doesn't stop me feeling cheered by these interactions...

I think of the way that people are with each other at home, and when I compare it to here I can't help but feeling like we can be a little... well, cold. I remember talking with a British guy in Laos that I travelled with for a few days... His mother had passed away from cancer last year, he was an only child so had no brothers and sisters, and his only remaining family was his father. When I asked him if he missed him, he said,
'Sure, but I would never tell him that.'
So I pushed him a little... 'But he's your only remaining family, your dad, you should just call him and tell him that you love him and you miss him.'
'Oh, I could never do that'
'But why not?' I asked.
'We just don't do that.'
'When was the last time that you hugged him?' I persisted.
He told me that he remembered his dad squeezing his hand when his mum died.
Squeezing his HAND?????
I know most families aren't so reserved, and this is a very extreme example, but still, I can't help but wish that more people in Australia would kiss and embrace strangers like they do here, and treat people on their streets a little more like family!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

There is something to be said for some of the manners and etiquette which we seem to deem here as being "old-fashioned" or "sexist". I find that here, when you do meet a guy who knows these things, it is still awkward because we're so much into the "I'm a woman, I don't need special treatment" way of thinking that soemtimes there's no space for men to be gentlement and for us to be ladies.
I like the idea of having the etiquette of "ladies" and "gentlemen" but not being tied into the traditional roles... each sex feeling they have the ability to be who they want to be and not be hindered or stopped by their gender.
It sounds beautiful how such niceties are combined with warmth and compassion over there.